He never leaves me.

Today was my high school graduation (whoop whoop!!). I was absolutely ecstatic because I have completed something that few NYC students complete in the standard 4 years. My mother, little sister, aunt, cousin and my pastor attended this day with me. What was amazing was that my cousin gave me a bouquet of roses. I didn't realize what was happening at the moment but i found out later. We went out to eat at a soul food restaurant called Sylvia's. I'm not quite sure whether my expectations were too high or it had too much southern flavor but to me the food was alright. When you live in New York for so long you begin to mistake southern flavor with artery clogging heaviness. Anyway, i ate there with my cousin and aunt and we chatted about my near and distant future. After we headed to check out this "famous" tattoo shop called Black Ink (none of us plan to get tattoos), then from there we parted ways. On my way home I got many congratulations and smiles from people. It was almost as if the bitterness that comes with a day in NYC was briefly lost because I was wearing a blue gown and a bright smile. It felt really good to have people appreciation, especially my pastor's. When i got home I flung my shoes and freed my face from the mask of makeup I was forced to wear. I then proceeded to tend to the beautiful pink roses i received from my cousin. I was dancing around like i didn't have a care in the world and right before i danced out the kitchen i counted the roses (i'm not sure why i did that) and i found that i had 8 roses. I immediately started to cry because i realized how God's word never fails. 8 is the number of new beginnings and the color pink means unconditional love and hope. God is giving me a new beginning of unconditional love and hope. I am truly greatful. I don't know what exactly God is going to do with me but i trust Him. Though i'm nervous for whats ahead i'm looking forward to it.  

They say "There are many fish in the sea" (I just don't know how to fish)

People have always told me after break ups, "Don't worry there are plenty of fish (guys) in the sea." Obviously I don't know how to fish. I choose different baits time and time again and i keep getting the fish covered in oil. They slip right through your hands and wiggle right back in to the ocean where they came from. To every person who has ever told me the above words I have this to say to you: If I wanted the whole damn sea, I'll cast my net and collect as many fish as I wanted and start an aquarium or eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is a reason that I sit in a row boat with a single fishing line. I don't want fish that I can devour or display. I want a fish to take hold of my fishing line and pull me out to sea. I want to live in the water with my catch in a beautiful coral reef (enough metaphors for you?). In all honesty I already have two great love affairs, the first is with God, and the second is with my writing. So I think i'll drop the fishing rod for a bit and just enjoy the beauty of the deep blue that surrounds me.