The mind is a strange place...

Everything is just changing around me. I started college, underwent an overnight maturity transformation and have questioned my own sanity. Because of my faith I find myself constantly asking God things like "what are you doing?" "Are you sure about this?" or the more famous one "Are you trying to kill me?". My faith is weak because I have been wrong about so many things I was sure about. Like I "knew" I was destined to be this great doctor who would travel the world and take care of the worlds untouchables. I felt a special connection with them because I was America's untouchable. I was doomed from the beginning, but God didn't forsake me. Ever since I was young, I've had this unquenchable sense of wonder inside of me, like every moment in life can be magic if I just believed hard enough. Even when things went down hill I still found a way to create a fairy tale. One of my favorite childhood fantasies was a Michael Jackson/Cinderella blend. In my fantasy I was a slave, always cooking and cleaning and was fairly beautiful but my beauty was not seen by the commons. Then one day a very young Michael Jackson came to my door and moon walked his way past my mother straight to my twin sized bed and sat down next to me. I marveled at him and he said to me "I've traveled all the seven seas, searched the rich and poor lands and found myself here with you at the very moment, I love you and I accept you". Then in a flash we stood on top of my bed and jumped three times and disappeared together. For a time I actually believed that this happened to me but eventually that passed. Time has had it's way with me. The days and hours has seasoned me well but one thing I still have possession of is my vast sense of wonder, which I now express in poems and short stories. The times of my fantasies has passed, and i'm well aware of reality now but my wonder has taken on a new approach. I now wonder about life and the meaning of it. I'm in no pursuit to find a philosophical answer to this question, I only seek to find an answer that will make my wonder more understandable.The mind is a strange place...